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# LOL GOD DAMN, CHILL OUT KOSPI

HES CALLED 20 OUT OF THE LAST 2 RECESSIONS HURR DURR

WHY OUT OF EVERY SINGLE STOCK IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE DID I HAVE TO APE INTO $BE YESTERDAY?! This piece of absolute trash is plummeting down to 230, DAMN IT!! I can't even sit here and mock the $RKLB bagholders anymore because I'm getting raw-dogged by the market even harder!! GOD HAVE MERCY ON MY PORTFOLIO!!

I got absolutely CHEWED OUT when I told the platinum sub it would be back to 1500 before the end of the year

LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT

> When democrats win midterms he will immediately blame them for the inflation And the deficit, and Iran, and our horrid foreign policy, and tariffs... "How could the democrats let this happen?", and ICE, and all the settlements and lawsuits coming for unlawful detention of American citizens and immigrants, cuts to medical research, cuts to the VA, blame the Dems for why the military is in shambles, and for the AI imposition that's going to put us in a new GFR, and cut to Medicare/Medicaid, etc... and since this can't get fixed in the same amount of time it took to destroy the American goldfish/sheep, will flip a switch in four years and really make sure the American empire collapses. I mean, I am middle-aged, and I've even seen this fucking movie 3-4 times, but we are running out of film, and I really do feel "this time it will be diffrent" if we don't right the ship in this moment and CUT THE ROT OUT and do our best to prevent it from happening again. But a little bird tells me the South actually won the Civil War... Mighta taken Russia, China, and the American oligarchy... but I kinda feel they finally got to the end state to undo everything FDR did... even winning a war... they'll fuck that too... [Welcome to the new Chinese Century... THE BEST IS YET TO COME!](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/5f448185af5808094671183c/master/pass/Lach-RNCNight1-KimberlyGuilfoyle.jpg)

Sorry, I'm very ignorant and really only have a 401k. Does that mean I should be moving money OUT of stocks for a bit? I'm 40 fwiw and sick

The BPO industry will most likely collapse due to AI. This is one of the reason foreign funds are fleeing. This collapse will have a domino effect in real estate, retail, banking, food and beverage, etc. GET OUT OF THE MARKET NOW. It will fall further to 4000.

GET US THE BLAZES OUT OF HERE

#V THE FUCK OUT THIS ALREADY

Except BOGGLE SOLD OUT IN 2000.

I am an absolute novice with trading and I am in the same boat as you. As a novice, do not trust any advice from analysts or anyone saying to buy 1 particular stock. Yes the upside swings can be big but this is the equivalent of you going to a blackjack table and hitting on the hand just bc someone told you to. The common sentiment for most people who want to invest but don’t do research or in depth analysis is “VT and chill” which is to say put 100% of your money in the VT ETF and DO NOT WITHDRAW. Over 30 years you will expect to average 7-10% annual returns which can set you up for life. This is what I personally do along with many others in r/bogleheads. You have 2 ways to invest using this method. 1. Dump 100% in an etf of your choice all at once. 2. Dollar cost average. You allocate a certain dollar amount to put into the ETF every month. The idea being no matter what price you buy at your costs will average out to the median price of the ETF over the year. If line go up, it doesn’t matter what you bought at bc you made money. This method is lower risk and what most responsible investors will advise. My advice to you. Sell all your positions that is not in an index fund/ mutual fund/etf. Gold/silver/uranium can be good but you will not see gains that can set you up to retire. If you are indeed up 60% then it’s a good time to get out. A quick glance at your picks over the last 5 years shows these stocks are basically even. You want growth over time. And growth in your Roth is 100% tax free. Lastly you should MAX OUT YOUR ROTH at every chance you can. Any leftover funds should also go into etfs in your emergency fund/hsa/529/brokerage in that order.

NO I WILL NOT SEE U TOMORROW IM OUT OF THE RAT RACE. Until the fat retard is gone

MARKET GOING TO ZERO. GET OUT NOWWWWWW

SELL EVERYTHING AND FREAK THE FUCK OUT

EVERYONE FREAK THE FUCK OUT AND PANIC BUY EVERYTHING!!!

BREAKING NEWS: CPR REPORT IS OUT NOW, UNEXPECTED RESULT

\*\*Before You Quit Your Job To Day Trade, Learn Basic Math\*\* \*\*I mean this in the most blunt and harsh way possible to try and help as many people as I can.\*\* Some of you are planning your financial freedom around returns you haven’t even bothered to calculate. “I only need 1–3% a day.” “I’ll start small and flip $500 into $4000.” “I just need trading to cover my bills.” (Professional traders have a base salary btw….) Fine. Let’s put actual numbers next to those statements. \*\*1. Your daily income target has nothing to do with how much the market moves.\*\* Here’s a basic ATR (average true range statistic, not the indicator you’re hoping will save you) calculation of EUR/USD’s historical percentage moves over the last 15 years : \*\*Measurement\*\* \*\*Average positive period return\*\* \*\*Daily: +0.369%\*\* \*\*Yearly: +7.65%\*\* Average negative period return \*\*Daily: −0.363%\*\* \*\*Yearly: −6.00%\*\* Average full high-to-low range \*\*Daily: 0.632%\*\* \*\*Yearly: 12.06%\*\* Look at that daily range again: \*\*0.632%.\*\* \*\*That is the entire distance between the day’s high and low. Capturing all of it in one trade means getting both your entry and exit exactly right.\*\* \*\*You’re attempting to achieve 1-3% DAILY returns on financial instruments that don’t even move that percentage on average DAILY but sure go trade the news so you can pass that prop firm challenge lol\*\* Now suppose you capture a quarter of that range: \*\*0.158%.\*\* To turn that into a 3% account gain, you need approximately \*\*19 times your account equity in exposure\*\*. A 0.158% move against that same position costs approximately 3% of your account. Let me put that in terms of pips so you get it, that’s \*\*17.4 pips on EURUSD\*\* You remembered to multiply the profit by your leverage. Did you remember to multiply the loss? Hopefully some of you guys have requested a crypto withdrawal from that unregulated exchange after reading this but if you haven’t let’s continue. \*\*2. “Flipping an account” is a cute way to avoid saying “I need a 700% return.”\*\* Turning $500 into $4,000 = \*\*700% return\*\* EUR/USD’s average annual high-to-low range in this calculation was roughly 12%. Your “flipped” account return is approximately \*\*58 times that entire annual range\*\*. Those are different measurements. The gap is what you’re expecting leverage and repeated successful trades to bridge. . \*\*Having a smaller account does not make a 700% return easier. It just makes the dollar target sound less ridiculous.\*\* “Built different” is not a variable in the equation. Please just one person listen to what I’m explaining, most won’t but one of you can I believe it. \*\*3. GET A JOB. Your bills are eating the capital you need to trade.\*\* I mean this genuinely. Save yourself years of financial damage trying to force a small account to replace a salary. Like honestly if you’re not starting with 25k worth of capital just get a JOB, your time is literally WORTH more. The S&P returns on average 10% percent a year. Let’s say you’re extra SPECIAL and do have 25k and you get a 30% in a year. That’s only $7500 on a 25k account…. Go get a job. MAX OUT YOUR 401k and Roth. Save 3-6 months worth of income in cash as your emergency funds and THEN think about depositing into a trading account. PLEASE. Yes it will be difficult, but not as difficult as trailing your stop during London so you don’t get margin called 😂 Professional traders at established firms receive a base salary plus a bonus. A losing week does not cancel their paycheck. Poor performance can cost them their bonus or job, but their grocery money does not depend on winning the next trade. Your landlord expects payment on schedule. The market never agreed to provide profitable opportunities on that schedule. Get a paycheck. Stop making your next trade responsible for keeping the lights on. And yes, AI wrote this post. Apparently both of us had to explain percentages to you. If you still think you’re turning $500 into $4,000 because you’re “built different,” ask me about my course :) I’ve identified a much more reliable source of income than trading: you Good luck to all you that will continue your journey regardless, may the odds be in your favor. (Please share how your strategy is different below) This is a satirical post, some will get it others won’t. Love you all, happy trading

# JUST CHECKED MY BROKERAGE, IT'S ALMOST OVER. # I AM GONNA MAX OUT MY CREDIT CARDS AND ESCAPE TO CANADA.

:screech: I BETTER SEE THE WSB LIVE CHAT BACK UP 1 HOUR BEFORE MARKET OPEN, OR I'M GONNA BE BIG MAD! 😡 CAN'T MISS OUT ON THE LIVE CPI REACTION WITH HOMIES!

:screech: MASSIVE GREEN DAYS AHEAD!!!! EVERYTHING ON MASSIVE SALEZ!!!!! 1 MONTH OUT CALLS FOR FREE GAIN!!!!!

REALLY ENJOYED THE 10 POINTS OF RANGE ON SPX TODAY TOTALLY NOT THE MARKET DRYING OUT FROM INSIDER TRADING.

MAXING OUT MY CHAT GPT USUAGE TO BURN OPEN AI MONEY!!! BRING ON THE CRASH!!!!

TEXTBOOK WEAK HANDS SHAKE OUT LMAO

🗣️ good 2 days of puts. NOW YOU BUY CALLS 1 MONTH OUT. MASSIVE SALES.